Relationships are fundamental to how we operate and interact with each other. They may begin as an unassuming acquaintanceship and are often influenced by our surroundings. So interaction anywhere from that with a family member or others via our work environment, interest groups or associations can initiate relationships.
Over time, relationships are built upon and improved when they are fostered. Increased time spent with someone leads to mutual trust, comfort, increased knowledge about the person, and more opportunities to find a common ground. Additionally, interdependence develops where you’re then able to share ideas and thoughts, work together effectively, and support each other’s goals and objectives.
We tend to think of this evolution with relationships from a personal standpoint, but the same applies in business for the following three reasons:
People do business with people they like. If you are serious about your business, then surely you are putting in your fair share of work. And we know what work entails; it requires effort and sacrifice and it is never easy. So with that understanding, and especially on those tough days, there should be more to the equation that keeps you motivated. Often enough, the difference is made by people. People can inspire and challenge you and induce a smile when you need it. Amidst the daily demands on the road to success, being surrounded by people you enjoy spending time with makes all the difference.
People do business with people they know. It is so much easier to speak highly about someone when you’re speaking from the heart and experience as opposed to having memorized a static description. Being able to reference someone’s proven track record and quantifiable results is much more convincing than speaking in terms of their potential. This is particularly important in business where results matter and risk is to be minimized. So when you’re venturing into the unknown and taking on a new endeavor, you’re in a much better position with people you can count on as part of your controlled variables.
People do business with people they trust. Mutual trust is important in sustaining any relationship. Add dollars to that equation and people become particularly cautious. Trust is built over time and has to be proven with a level of consistency. So when a history of trust exists, it makes it easier to transition a relationship into a different realm such as business. When new opportunities call for your undivided attention, you want to know that your day-to-day operations are in capable hands and decisions are being made in the best interest of your business.
So the next time you exchange business cards with someone, think about what that really means. You want the implication to be more than just having another card in your Rolodex. You want it to mean that you’re genuinely taking an interest in that person, you’re willing to make time for them, and you’re open to helping them attain success.
Do you have any other tips for managing relationships?
Dasanj Aberdeen is an entrepreneur who embodies the combination of left-brain logic and right-brain imagination as a businesswoman and artist. She founded TheAfter5Edge.com as a platform for encouraging others to optimize their potential by discovering and leveraging their strengths to obtain their competitive edge. She is a graduate of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Follow her on Twitter at: @TheAfter5Edge.
Dasanj, I like the additional perspective you bring to the triumvirate. It certainly helps to trust those you do business with because it frees up your time to focus on the things at which you excel.
Naturally, this means you have to know those people. Now, being online, the “like” part is subjective:
As you say, being around people who uplift you can make the journey more bearable. If you don’t have this face-to-face contact, it’s easier to like the pleasant facade that most professionals present to the public. How many times have we expats from cubicle nation thought, “Joe would be okay to work with, if only he would _____”?
Believe me, it’s the main reason I avoid public discussion of taboo topics. People are too judgmental and will tend to dismiss others if any offending remarks are part of the record.
Cheers,
Mitch
Very good point, Mitch. The goal for any business owner should be to create enough leverage so that their business can run in their absence. And like you said, this allows them to focus where their strengths are and even on new opportunities.
The ease of interaction online has definitely brought a new spin to how we’ve traditionally built relationships. But it doesn’t eliminate the fact that the strongest relationships are built via real-time interaction. Everyone will have their personal stance on issues and it takes respect and consideration to not offend. Needless to say, there can be a lot of misunderstandings via written communication so it is something for us to all be mindful of.
Very well written — good points to remember!
Annie
Thank you, Annie!
I can’t agree more with these 3 points. I especially think it’s critical to show genuine interest in someone and what they are doing. Don’t say you are going to connect them with someone or promote them and not do it. Your word should be your bond. Integrity is crucial to building and keeping someone’s trust in life as well as in business.
Tamara,
I love the word integrity. An effective business owner embodies this and it should also carry through in their business. Clients will recognize it and appreciate it. And both in personal and business relationships, integrity creates a stronger bond.
I’m glad you took the time to bring up this point!
Dasanj, great article and definitely speaks to the consistent 3 components of building business relationships that will work over and over again: People do business with those they like, know and trust. And might I had the age ole saying “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Building a business is about relationships, pure and simple as you have so eloquently written here.
Thanks Delmar. It is important for a business owner to be able to step back and keep things in perspective. Who are you selling your services or products to? Who largely determines if your business will be profitable? It all comes down to people because without them, you have no business. This is very important to remember in all interaction.
Absolutely. You are right on point and I enjoyed the article. Relationships are certainly the central point of doing well in any profession, business, or personal interaction. I was just having this discussion with a colleague that as cliche as it may sound, know-like-trust really works. Thanks for sharing such a well-written article, Dasanj.
It is interesting to watch this process play out in business. I am in a position where I have a lot of sales people calling me on a fairly consistent basis. Rarely do these people take much time to get to know me or even ask about the company that I represent. In the last month, I would estimate that I have received calls from about 20 sales teams, but only one of them understood the principles you are discussing.
Excellent post. I will definitely be back.
@jwsokol
Great article Dasanj! One additional point, less seasoned business owners have become far too reliant on web based tools to “manage relationships” vs. placing value in more traditional methods. Your post serves as a timely reminder that quality/personal interactions go a long way in fostering solid relationships that can ultimately impact your business’s bottom line.
@moniquecarswell
Great article and so true!
Spot on Dasanj! I often encourage people to consider how they treat their friends, the really special ones. Now treat your clients the same way (minus perhaps shoe shopping or watching reruns of SATC). Whenever I meet someone new in person, and get their card, I make sure to write something personal on the back afterwards.
For example, if I learn someone loves hockey or has 3 year old twins I put it down. Later, when appropriate I use that information in context. Did you see Game 5 of the Stanley Cup, or here’s a great twins website. It lets them know I’m listening. One caveat: you need to genuinely care for this to work.
I agree with you people do do business with people they know. That’s why networking is so important. Building relationship and build your business as well.
I think these are good points, but what can be lacking in business relationships is developing the relationship skills within the context of your offerings. Even a networking event can become superficial if the discussion does not create talks on a budgeted work that leads to a sale. What I think most businesses need is to develop the means to follow up with contacts that balances the soft skills with specific business-creating actions, be it a short project or on-going business. This does not mean being a used car salesman, but it should be a clear awareness in the discussion regarding what the customer/client needs and what your business provides.
Building relationships is so true that people do business with you because they like and trust you. I also add that They know you can help them solve their problem or reach a goal because they believe in you. You have made good points here.