Every week as SmallBizLady, I conduct interviews with experts on my Twitter talk show #SmallBizChat. The show takes place every Wed on Twitter from 8-9pm ET. This is excerpted from my recent interview with Howard Yermish @hyermish, an expert in Internet strategy, website development, speaker and private trainer. His new project, “More Digital Referrals” is an online course delivered via email several times a week, with step-by-step instructions, video tutorials, and downloadable materials you can implement right away, launching in January 2012. Learn more and register for free at http://moredigitalreferrals.com.

SmallBizLady: How do you define a digital referral?

Howard Yermish:  A digital referral “happens” when a person puts his or her own trusted reputation at risk with her or her own network of contacts for the benefit of someone or something else. When I post a link to my stuff on Twitter, you see it as self-promoting. When one of my clients posts a link to my stuff, there is added credibility. It is obvious to most people, but most business professionals focus on broadcasting as loud as possible, and skip referral marketing.

So many businesses pin their online success to Google. Google is like a reverse cold call. People click on random and unknown links in the absence of any knowledge or trust. If the sole purpose of your website is to try to catch random people who in effect accidentally clicked on your website, you start at a zero level of trust and loyalty.

SmallBizLady: What are the first steps for getting more digital referrals?

Howard Yermish:  It may seem basic, but it starts with making connections. A powerful network is a messy combination of sheer number of people and loyal ambassadors. I actually focus on building a network of people that I can regularly refer business out to.  Once you start building your network, the focus shifts to giving. It is exactly what #SmallBizChat is about, giving valuable information to a community of people. And when it was time for the @SmallBizLady to take the spotlight, the community was there to lift you higher than you could go yourself.

Philosophically it is an understanding of giving and taking turns. Once you know that you have been giving, you get “permission” to ask for help. When asking for help, you need to be specific. “I’m looking for anyone that needs to have their taxes done,” is an impossible request. That is everybody! “I’m looking for someone that has recently changed jobs,” is much more specific. “I’m looking for someone that just moved into an apartment in the city,” is specific.

People won’t make digital referrals in floods, so don’t expect it. Instead, put together many different trickles from multiple sources over a long stretch of time and you will stop caring about the random cold leads from Google.

SmallBizLady: Does this mean that a business professional doesn’t need a website?

Howard Yermish:   Business professionals should have a particular “home base” to operate from. Ideally, this is a website, but in some cases a corporate entity or budget or time may get in the way. A LinkedIn profile can be a great home base, as could a Facebook page, Twitter account or Tumblr site. When it is your own website, that becomes the source of material that others can link to. When you rely on third-party sites, your tactics may change out from under you, like when Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter change how things work on their sites. Not having your own “source” is a risk.

Some business professionals have to work with a handicap as their corporate umbrella prevents them from using some of the Internet tools.

SmallBizLady: What are the key concepts for getting more digital referrals?

Howard Yermish:  I’ll boil this down to four things. First, clarify and define your audience of prospective customers and referral partners. Don’t just talk about it, write it down. Next, stop trying to “hunt” for prospects online, instead focus on giving referrals. It allows you to model the behavior to your own referral sources. Third, learn to spot people that are raising their “virtual” hands and communicate this back to your referral sources. Finally, integrate your online activities with your traditional systems.

Referrals are a two way street. In order to receive a referral, you have to give a referral. So a core component to receiving a digital referral is giving digital referrals. Most don’t realize the importance of giving first. Most also don’t realize that referral marketing starts slow, but then builds and builds and builds over time.

SmallBizLady: So digital referrals are about using social networks the way Dale Carnegie may have?

Howard Yermish:  If you have read Dale Carnegie, you will have a good sense of what I teach business professionals to do with the social networks. If Dale had Facebook, what would he suggest? I see books and websites focusing on “Influence” and “Trust” which is really what Dale Carnegie teaches. Remember that digital tools are not replacements for human connection; digital tools are conduits for human connection.

SmallBizLady: Does this mean that I should send email instead of hand-written notes?

Howard Yermish:  If you have a habit of writing handwritten notes, extend that habit by also writing short personal email messages, or posting a note on someone’s Facebook wall. For example, you might meet someone at an after hours event and exchange cards. An email follow-up is a great action. But it should be about extending a conversation, not just a copy/paste of your marketing boilerplate text. If the email feels impersonal, you may be teaching the recipient that you aren’t really paying attention to them. When you value your audience’s attention, you make them feel special. As business professionals, attention is our most valuable and scarce resource.

SmallBizLady: LinkedIn seems very business focused, while Facebook and Twitter are more social. Should business professionals focus on LinkedIn?

Howard Yermish:  Time and time again, I hear business professionals resist using social networks, claiming that they get their business through word of mouth. Their only real use of LinkedIn is to accept or ignore connection requests. My hope is that these same people will understand that LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter are about two-way conversations rather than broadcast media. I see word of mouth really as referral marketing, and when someone on Facebook “likes” something or someone “retweets” something else, it can be the start of a referral. LinkedIn is a great place to start and get comfortable, but referral math gets much better when you are comfortable on Facebook, Twitter and Google Plus.

SmallBizLady: What was your reason behind putting a system together?

Howard Yermish:  I see people using social networks quite haphazardly. It’s why the corporate IT departments want to block their use. Sharing links to 20 stories from the New York Times every day is probably not an effective use of your time. Just like having a meeting agenda or an exercise routine, a system for using social networks should be obvious. You can track your own execution of the tactics and the overall performance of the system to generate referral opportunities.

SmallBizLady: Do you recommend that business professionals mix work contacts with personal contacts?

Howard Yermish:  Business people will often give me the line, “But I don’t want to connect with people from high school or upload photos of my kids.” So don’t. Keep in mind that trust forms from common interests and experiences. Being part of the same high school or college class is a component of trust, sometimes enough to get your foot in the door. So don’t discount the “trivial” experiences.

That said, Facebook lets you categorize your friends into custom named lists, Twitter has public and private lists, Google Plus has custom named circles, and even LinkedIn lets you tag contacts.  When you connect with people, you should be defining the reason or context for the connection. This way you stay organized and efficient.

SmallBizLady: How can you be most efficient with your social network activity?

Howard Yermish:  Proficiency with the social networks does not make you efficient. It simply means that you can Tweet faster than the average bear.  Proficiency doesn’t mean that you have to partake in every social network website available either.  Exploring new outlets for creating connections is important, but it is rarely your main business focus.

If you do strength training at the gym, you probably have a system. A system that builds good habits and measures progress over time is valuable in every area of your life. Practicing your activities in the system will develop a more efficient use of social networks.

SmallBizLady: Are your methods appropriate for all types of businesses?

Howard Yermish:  I don’t think that the system that I’m teaching in my “More Digital Referrals” course is appropriate for retail stores or “brand marketing.” I’m focused on the service business professional. There are a lot of business professionals that are really great at what they do for their clients and customers, but not great marketers. They don’t want to be labeled as marketers as they believe that it devalues their professional expertise.

SmallBizLady: What are some examples that you use to inspire digital referrals?

Howard Yermish:  Each person has to explore this, but there are some basics that everyone can use. I like to promote one or two events that I’m attending each week. It’s not my job to be the event organizer, but the event will be better if more people are there. Posting a link to Facebook or LinkedIn with a comment about why you are going to the event is more interesting than a simple link.

When you learn something valuable from someone, that is a perfect opportunity to lift up the source. When I learned the math behind how my health insurance policy worked, I wanted to share, but my health insurance broker didn’t have a website or use social networks. I had no link that I could share and my own blog was the wrong venue.

Also, I recommend people participate in other people’s posts with comments. Participation should follow a few basic principals. Avoid criticizing or complaining about people, products or services. When using your sense of humor, self-deprecating works, but never ever make fun of someone else. I also recommend that people avoid getting into political debates online.

SmallBizLady: How do you go about putting together a system schedule?

Howard Yermish:  It starts by creating three separate checklists: one for daily activities, one for weekly activities, and one for monthly activities. My previous example about promoting an event would go on my weekly checklist. If all I ever posted was links to events, people might learn to safely ignore my posts if they don’t like going to events.  Using the checklists, you will develop good habits over time. At first, the checklists will be a way to help you get comfortable with the different activities. Many of the daily actions will become automatic. But the weekly and monthly activities are easy to forget.

The system also includes a score card for the referrals that you make to others: 1 point for posting someone’s link, 2 for an email introduction or recommendation, 3 for a warm lead, 5 points for direct business referral. It may seem silly at first, but it helps you improve and stay on task.

If you found this interview helpful, join us on Wednesdays 8-9pm ET follow @SmallBizChat on Twitter. Here’s how to participate in #SmallBizChat: http://bit.ly/S797e

For more tips on how start or grow your small business subscribe to Melinda Emerson’s blog http://www.succeedasyourownboss.com

Melinda F. Emerson, known to many as SmallBizLady is one of America’s leading small business experts. As a seasoned entrepreneur, professional speaker, and small business coach, she develops audio, video and written content to fulfill her mission to end small business failure. As CEO of Quintessence Multimedia, Melinda educates entrepreneurs and Fortune 500 companies on subjects including small business start-up, business development and social media marketing. Forbes Magazine named her #1 woman for entrepreneurs to follow on Twitter. She hosts #SmallBizChat Wednesdays on Twitter 8-9pm ET for emerging entrepreneurs. She also publishes a resource blog http://www.succeedasyourownboss.com Melinda is also bestseller author of Become Your Own Boss in 12 months; A Month-by-Month Guide to a Business That Works.